


you've been waiting for change, everything is still the same.

by LorasMartell



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Diary/Journal, F/F, F/M, following the game but also attempting to shoehorn my own plot and backstory here, im trying to stick to lore as much as possible, like 49 but shes an elf so come on extended life span, never heard of her, not sure how its gonna work but we'll make a go of it alright, ok my dovahkiin isnt the greatest of people?, she'll change i swear, shes a high elf ok shes kinda racist, shes a war veteran ok shes kinda old, this talks about the war a lot, whats a main quest?, which means she thinks she above everyone else
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:37:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LorasMartell/pseuds/LorasMartell
Summary: Dellanir Goldsea is a former Thalmor spy who has fled to join Skyrim's Thieves Guild after a mission went wrong and leaves her fearing for her life.But with dragon's returning and the Thalmor around every corner, it's not easy for an Altmer mage to hide in a land divided by Nord rebellion.





	1. Morndas, 18th of Last Seed, 4E 201

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Barely by TR/ST.
> 
> I write character diaries in my spare time and i thought i'd give a go at posting some. It will be taken one day at a time.

I’m writing this at a small camp I found by a cave I think is called Angarvunde. A lot has happened over the past two days; I was captured by Imperial Soldiers crossing the border from Cyrodil into Skyrim, and I think they assumed I was one of the rebel Stormcloaks. They loaded us onto carriages, and we travelled for well over a day and it was less than pleasant, the ride was not smooth by any means – the imperials certainly didn’t offer us anything to make the journey more comfortable. One of the prisoners, a man called Ralof, I think, spoke to me while we travelled, small conversation mostly to pass the time, but I overheard him telling another prisoner that the man next to me, gagged for the whole journey, was Ulfric Stormcloak, the leader of the rebellion.

It was then I realised I was not being taken to spend a few days in a cell in some keep, they were taking us to be executed. Just for crossing a border? Clearly these Stormcloaks were more of a threat to the empire than the rest of Tamriel had been led to believe, the Imperials didn’t want to take any chances in letting some rebels survive, even if I clearly was not with them. An Altmer siding with the Stormcloaks? Correct me if I’m wrong but I believe they consider us to be the real enemy. I even heard one of the rebels curse an imperial as a Thalmor puppet. 

They brought us to a hold called Helgen and led me straight to the executioner’s block. The headsman was lifting the axe as a I said my final prayers when this gods awful roar came from the mountains – it was so loud I thought the ground was going to open from beneath me. Even now I can scarcely believe what I saw, even as I saw it with my own two eyes. A dragon! I had thought they were nothing but legends now, the histories say they all died in the Dragon War.

One of the imperials, Hadvar, helped me escape through the keep. He gave me some armour since they’d taken everything of mine when they captured me, and told me to search for anything I would need. I took everything I could carry that would get me some gold when I was out of there; armour, weapons, books, potions. I made sure to take food for the journey, I had no idea how far away Helgen was from Riften. Hadvar kept telling me to equip a sword but really, what mage needs to wield a blade?

We escaped through some tunnels underneath the keep, crawling with Stormcloaks and spiders. When we got out Hadvar told me to head to a nearby village called Riverwood, where he had an uncle who would help me, then to travel to Solitude and join the legion. Perhaps I would, since I’m sure Ulfric had escaped Helgen also, and who knew how serious this rebellion really was? If the Stormcloaks took Skyrim, nowhere would be safe for me. 

We said our farewells when we reached the path and I asked him for directions to Riften, fed him a lie about having family there. Normally, he told me, I would travel through Helgen but because of the dragon attack, I would be best heading towards Whiterun until I reached some crossroads then follow the signs to Riften, but it would bring me all the way around the other side of the mountain – a longer but safer journey, in terms of dragons anyway. However, it would mean being out on the road for far longer and I was weary. When he left, I followed his directions back towards Helgen, we’d both seen the dragon fly off in the other direction and I wanted to see if any of my belongings had survived the attack, plus he’d said it was the fastest route to Riften. 

It took me the better part of an hour to reach Helgen again – had we really been in the tunnels that long? – and when I opened the gates… By the Divines, what a sight. The place was a smoking ruin, filled with nothing but silence and bodies, charred to the bone, flesh melted off and by gods, the smell! I hadn’t seen anything like it since the war nearly 30 years ago. Houses were in ruins and the keep had been reduced to rubble. It was like something from a nightmare. 

I can’t speak of it no more. 

I found only a few of my things, my journal, some gold and my map of Skyrim. I came to this land to join the thieves guild, a chance to disappear into the shadows and earn some gold, and I knew it was based in RIften. The map told me Riften was south east from Helgen, a little through the mountains which would mean cold, something I had not been looking forward to, but I had no other choice. 

I had set off and followed the path and ran straight into a bandit ambush. They’d murdered a khajit caravan in the middle of the road, clearly expecting some poor soul to stop to help but they were not prepared to face an Altmer mage. I stripped them of their gold and valuables and continued on as long as I could until it grew dark and I found this camp. 

The fire was lit when I arrived, with bedrolls and a cooking pot set up but judging by the journal I found the owners would not be returning for at least a few days, even so I should not linger here. Dawn is approaching and from looking at the map, it should not take me more than a day to reach Riften if I keep a good pace. I had plenty of food if need be but the amount I am carrying is getting to be almost too much for me and I don’t want to leave any behind, I need all the gold I can get. 

Onward then,  
Dellanir.


	2. Morndas evening, 18th of Last Seed, 4E 201

What a day. Not long after I had left that camp, I came across another one, where a man Stalleo, mistook me for his reinforcements. Some bandits had taken his family and he wanted to storm their keep and kill them all. I didn’t really want to but he said it was only a handful and there was a back door into the keep. He mentioned payment, so I took it.

It was easy enough, I’m a good sneak, and they were spread out. I took them out one by one, and found the chief. A strong man, he got me a few times but I was too much for him in the end. The school of destruction is the best for a reason, as he soon found out. I didn’t see the man’s family but then I had not seen all of the keep, I was aware I needed to make it to Riften before sunset, since I wasn’t sure I would be so lucky to find a camp this night. 

Stalleo thanked me, and gave me 100 gold, more than I was expecting honestly. He asked if I would stay and help them reinforce the place but I told him I had to make it to Riften, and thank the gods I did because he told me the back entrance (which was at the end of my current path) was closed and the front entrance was manned by two guards who would pretty much take all of my gold as an entrance fee to enter the city. He told me there were some buildings by the docks, if I swam to there I could enter Riften through the Black-Briar Meadery, so long as I made it by the end of the day.

Sure enough, when I reached Riften, the back entrance was closed but I waded along the water and entered through the meadery and there I was. All before evening too. 

I was worried I would have some trouble trying to find the guild I was seeking but I needn’t have because no sooner had I entered the marketplace than a man approached me asking if I needed to make a little coin. His name was Brynjolf, and he wanted to me to break into a man’s strongbox, steal his ring and place into another man’s pocket, while he caused a distraction. Easy as sin either way, it took me only a few minutes to get the job done, and then Brynjolf bid me to meet him in the Ragged Flagon, in the ratways under the city. He said if I made it there in one piece, he had an offer for me.

And there I was wondering how I would find the thieves guild, when they found me! I found a merchant who took all of the stuff I had found in Helgen and from those bandit’s on the road, and then tried to the find the Ragged Flagon. Brynjolf had said the ratway was under the city, so I checked down underneath the market and sure enough, there was a door. I snuck along there and came across two men conspiring something, I killed them since I wasn’t really interested in whatever they had planned. I then came across a mad man, I almost didn’t see him at first until he came lunging out of the darkness with his fists raised. A well placed fireball and he was dead but it took me a moment to stop my heart from jumping out of my chest. Another man, some lowlife, I don’t know was there but I snuck up behind him and decided to put the bow I’d decided to keep from my loot to good use, and struck him in the back of the head and then he was no longer a problem. 

I found the Ragged Flagon through a door and I could hear Brynjolf’s voice clear as day, he was singing my praises would you believe! I didn’t think the little market place job was all that impressive but the bad luck his guild was going through must have been getting to them pretty bad because it seemed what I had done had impressed them all. 

As soon as I got there, he told me he had another job for me. Some people that paid the guild protection had decided they weren’t going to pay anymore and he wanted me to get the payment, without killing them. Seemed easy to me, since Brynjolf told me how to get them to give up the money without beating them to a bloody pulp. The woman, Helga, worshipped Dibella and had a prized statue, the argonian woman had a weakness for family and a lover, and Bersi was way too fond of a dwarven urn he had.

Easy enough, I went to each place, smashed up the urn, got the gold from Bersi, into the inn, the innkeep had family in Morrowind (odd, I thought argonians and dark elves hated each other, why were they living in Morrowind, not Black Marsh?) and by that point, the Dibella worshipper had heard what was going on and practically threw the gold at me as I walked through the door. 

I returned to Brynjolf, gave him the gold, told them there would be no more trouble from those three and then he led me through a door into the Cistern, the actual base of the thieves guild where I met Mercer, a grumpy git of a Breton, who (almost begrudgingly) took me in as a member of the guild and gave me a job. 

Goldenglow Estate. I didn’t know what the hell that was, but it was apparently a big deal, since Brynjolf almost argued with him not to give it to me since it would be too much but Mercer overruled him. From what I learned, a very important client of the guild’s used the place for business before the owner sold it, and they want to know who. The place is supposedly crawling with mercenaries, and they want me to burn some beehives and find out who the buyer is and return the information to the client.

This seems like fun, I guess? I’ll have to learn more about the place before I attempt it.

Yours, Della.


End file.
